Does God Exist?

It's only recently that I've pondered the existence of God without experiencing that furtive, fearful sense that I'm somehow committing an unpardonable sin simply by daring to question, what is to many, an unassailable given. IS THERE A GOD?

God, with a capital G. As in the primary source, the singular, the First Cause. As we humans have this persistent need to personify the forces around us - let us also consider then the Great, Bearded Man in the Sky, or man's idea of God.

Personally, my opinion is that if indeed a singular First Cause Force/Intelligence does exist, then It is a far cry from man's limited notion of what God may embody. However, and despite how inexpressibly difficult a concept the following at first appears, the universe does not necessarily require a First Cause. Like it or not.

While my heretical thinking might at first brand me as an atheist, an agnostic might be the more accurate term - although I think the need for labeling is pointless. We're all on a journey of discovery, and this is where I am at THIS point in the Great Process.

Nonetheless, when I examine the concept of God in the strictest sense of the term, the first and most glaring obstacle in my acceptance thereof, is the notion of Fair Play.

You know, that whole ethics vs free will kind of thing - one of which seems to be sadly lacking, in my humble opinion.

While it is reported, and perhaps accurately, that man is not capable of seeing the entire picture from his limited perspective - it appears to me that any deity which allows the level of cruelty against the helpless & innocent as is so rampant on our dear planet Earth, THAT deity is sadly lacking in ethics and has a tremendous lot to answer for. To be held accountable for.

Inexcusable, no matter what the lesson nor how big a picture we are talking here.

In absolute honesty, the majority of humans are a rather selfish, brutish and frequently cruel species that has an unfair advantage over the rest of God's green earth. Not only that, but we are lazy and stupid and frequently malicious as well. The human focus, in general, is nearly always self-serving, even if that means another living, feeling creature must suffer unthinkable tortures as long as man's desires are to be met.

Nice plan, God. Thank You for the creation and domination of a singular species with the ability to thoroughly rape and ruin the other 99% of Your children.

But there's good news! Allegedly man has a soul, a little perk denied the 99%, so we're the only creature that matters here. And we are so worried, so fearful that our SOUL make it to the free parking/home base called Heaven, where our trials and tribulations shall cease to matter, that we don't give a tinker's damn about the process. This is a case where the end justifies the means. Allegedly.

So, no. When I see forests destroyed and indigenous populations rendered homeless, when I see helpless animals tortured or babies beaten to death, when our foodstuffs are *manufactured* under conditions that most of us do NOT wish to know about - because then the unpleasant burden of knowledge would make the veal or milk or chicken patty less palatable, when - in order to serve man's horrible vanity that he/she might appear desirable - creatures are blinded that we might color our hair, skin, and so on and so forth ... I cannot and will not believe that any supposed deity/creator could have good reason to allow such atrocities under the guise of Free Will.

Not only is it deplorable ethics, but it is also illogical. Therefore, progressing along this particular line of reasoning, is it possible that man's idea of God is terribly flawed/limited [biased?]? Are we then to consider the notion that perhaps, should an almighty truly exist, that God is more of a First Cause/Force?

Certain proponents of theocracy would have it that not only is man incapable of understanding God, but that Man is NOT to question the mysterious [that's putting it nicely] workings of God. And as I prefaced with, it is only in my increasing age that I have begun to feel even remotely comfortable with questioning the supposed ineffable.

However, we are still left with the paradox of struggling to reconcile a benevolent God or Creator or First Cause et al, with the conditions of cruelty and corruption rife within our paradigm.

We go to church on Sunday to bask in the reflected glow of God's Word, then we drive home in our gas-guzzlers, ignore our pets dependent upon us for love & sustenance, we remove our clothing that was largely produced in third world countries for a pittance and under sub-human conditions, we feast on the flesh of animals that were abused and will never know kindness nor such basics as green grass and fresh air, we cleanse our skin of cosmetics, perfumes, and other laboratory concoctions, ... we do all the above and more besides, and yet have the unmitigated gall to believe our souls are somehow *saved*.

If that is not the epitome of insanity, I don't know what is.

So, no - I don't see how man's idea of God is plausible. Therefore, and again - along this one particular line of conjecture because life is neither black or white - God, should He or She or It be a real & true entity, must be something entirely different from what we would like to comfortably believe.

I'm not sure what THAT might be, but until we know for certain, could we please agree to stop killing each other and the rest of the ecosystem in the meantime? That's what I'd like to see God/Creator/First Cause, etc do. Give man a "Time-Out" and send us to our room for further reflection.

In conclusion, there are those who say that time and space are not linear constructs at all, that everything exists at once in an ever-present Now. If that is true, then consider the possibility that in our linear perspective, God is something we create as we go along. That the loving and omnipotent God we seek can only spring from our own being. And if that should be the case, we've certainly got our work cut out for us.

I truly don't know.