Grays Aliens and Geriatric Vampires

Today is one of those days. You know the kind I mean, where everything seems sorta goofy and not worth the effort to take things too seriously.

The world feels like one great, big surreal stage play and you're sitting in the audience. Minding your own business. Chowing down the gargantuan tub of $9 popcorn and a small diet coke. The plot's not grabbing you, so you turn your attention to those sitting around you.

There's some strange sights out there, and how much of it are we supposed to take seriously, to actually do something about? Is any of it real, does any of it really matter ?

Beats the heck outta me ...

But since I'm in this weird little mood today, here's a weird little post. Just because I LOVE you, even if you're weird, too.

Goofy weird things to think about:

Geriatric vampires (Why must all the vamps be young/hot). I mean, what if Lestat turned an old geezer just for kicks. Would you? Why or why not? Would the geezer turn his other geezer friends into vamps? Would they all end up in some kind of gated community where any vampire under the age of 50 wasn't allowed? Would they all drive gigantic Cadillacs and take up two parking spaces, or go down the highway with their left turn blinker on? Most importantly, could a vampire who wore polyester be taken seriously?

Vampires with Alzheimer's (Would they forget where they left their coffins and burn up in the sun?). What if they forgot who they had bitten, and kept on bleeding the same poor guy over and over and over.

Geriatric Zombies (Would we even know the difference?). My mind is giving me a picture here of all these liver spotted zombies twirling around the countryside in their wheelchairs, running into each other. Or doing one of those choreographed wheel chair commercials like you see on TV. And, if one tried to bite you would his dentures fall out? Would they just gum you to death???

Crop Circle puzzles (Like the NY Times variety). Or find a word. And how come we never see crop circles picturing kittens, butterflies or flowers? (although I still insist that Crop Circles [the real ones] are probably created by microwave laser beam cannons (look it up sometime)). How come they never draw naughty pictures? I know I would lol. Better yet: I'd sell the circle space to alien advertising companies (drink ZORP cola, more BURP for your ZURP).

Werewolves with a bad case of worms (Honestly now. You can't eat all that raw meat without ingesting some serious parasites! omg). Try to imagine a werewolf/boyfriend scooting his butt across your parent's living room carpet.

Gray Aliens with Agoraphobia (They'd never leave the ship).
Aliens with OCD (Wouldn't surprise me any).
Reptilians with an inferiority complex (They'd keep apologizing for the New World Order, while wringing their claws).
Nordics with bad skin (Somehow, it would be very difficult to take lessons in soul evolution or light beings from a tall, pale guy with zits. I mean, how could you not crack up? They would be going blah blah Star People yada yada soul blah reincarnation blah blah we are your creators blah and I would completely LOSE it. :P ).

OR how about somebody abducting the stupid aliens for a change? (The next time anybody thinks they are in the presence of one of those praying mantis/insectoid types, I DARE you to picture a huge can of Raid in your mind!) C'mon, do it - then let me know what happens :O

I have to wonder also, if anybody, anywhere, at anytime ... was ever visited by an Angel or God Presence or Demon, etc and had the actual nerve to speak in Pig Latin.

It's a strange, funny universe and I'm not even going to bother with spell check today ... :P

Have a Good Day and an Awesome Abduction!