With all the hypnotic tapes, dvds, cds and books available, I am surprised more people have not utilized these methods to explore their inner space. Not everyone, it seems, has the desire to root about in the basement of their minds, but for myself - hypnosis was a valuable tool which aided me in many areas of my life, including pain management and the ability to experience lucid dreams.
On the downside, my psychic abilities became greatly enhanced, or I had stimulated otherwise dormant areas of the brain, and, as I once heard said by a famous medium ... "in the early stages of training, you really pay your dues".
Believe me, I paid dearly. Not to be smug or self-congratulatory, but I think a weaker ego might have splintered under the chaos of the psychic manifestations I began experiencing. And this is no exaggeration! Self hypnosis and psychic development are most certainly not for everyone. One of the most frightening ordeals I experienced was an ever acceleration of energy spiralling out of control. I dreamed myself spinning out of control, head over feet, and was powerless to control the hurricane I'd unleashed.
Thank God (believe me, I prayed and fretted and pulled back only to feel impelled to resume the course) I ended up emotionally and mentally sound. Thank God I am one of the few people who are very balanced in the fact that I am neither left nor right brain dominate, or so testing has shown. While blessed with artistic and creative abilities, I am also firmly left brained and gifted in analytical prowess. Had my biology been somewhat different, things could easily have become unpleasant.
So it is with absolute caution and sincere concern that I recommend forays into self hypnosis and lucid dream experimentation for anyone reading my blog. If you are an easily excitable or gullible person, if you have deep emotional traumas or a tendency towards multiple personality disorder, these forays are not for you. What you do is your responsibility, not mine. But I care about my readers and would not deliberately encourage harmful behavior. So please walk slowly and carefully as best suits you, and always bear in mind that one of the first hurdles of psychic exploration is the confrontation with your shadow self. Scary stuff, my friends.
Now, on to my adventures. In the early stages of hypnosis, I was primarily using tapes to help manage back and urological pain. I had to undergo a series of unpleasant catheterizations and the use of self-hypnosis enabled me to focus my mind away from the body, and minimized the discomfort. However, at the same time, due to puzzling experiences throughout my life and my physical limitations at the time, I decided to explore the mind since there seemed little I could enjoy physically.
Over a period of roughly four years, I learned how to successfully use the pendulum, the spirit board, mind silence, and... contact with something. Whether subjective or objective (my belief is that a blend of both occurs as water cannot flow through a creek without picking up the silt along the bottom lol), these experiences grew in strength and frequency. It became difficult to turn them off!
I think that scared me the most. I felt powerless before my own mind's abilities. I was driving my car too fast, and couldn't find the brake. And I was terrified of hurtling over a mental cliff.
And though looking back later I soon realized that the gray alien presence had been present in my life since early childhood, the manifestation of The Grays certainly picked up steam. I remember seeing three of them standing at the foot of my bed one night, and shrieking, terrified in my head, NO NO NO!!! Odd, because not only did I not credit the grays with any objective actuality, but I was more curious by far, than fearful.
But the more I used the self hypnosis tapes and dvds, the more easily I slipped into the hypnotic state - alert, aware, very relaxed and mentally open to whatever or whomever happened to show up. My family would occasionally experience ghostly apparitions, events such as doors opening and closing, figures in mirrors and toes tugged in the middle of the night. Had my own psychic energy created these events? Or had I unwittingly opened a door and maybe exposed my loved ones to harmful entities? Oh, I prayed like you wouldn't believe, and worried equally.
More than once did I pull into our driveway (sometimes this was stronger when the house lay empty with family elsewhere and I was alone), and before I had the car in the garage, I could 'feel' the tingling energetic awareness that something inside awaited me. Sometimes, this 'energy' would wash over me in a tidal wave, similar to Kundalini. Was this my chakras opening? Or lucid dream intrusion? Ghosts?
Okay, so this kind of thing went on for a while. And I pondered all the while, too. I did not intend to let fear or superstition get the better of me, nor dogma or belief systems. Good, bad or indifferent - this was a valuable learning experience and I wasn't planning on trashing my hypnotic tapes anytime soon.
In brief, here are some more events I underwent. One evening I sat alone in my room and just let my hand go over and over the spirit board (I had a very large, heavy round one that I used), eventually I got bored because no marvelous revelations (lol) were coming through, but I stuck with it and proceeded to think of other things, my day at work, etc but I suddenly noticed that my hand was leaving tracers , like static electricity, in its wake - and this was fully visible in a fully lit room!
Another time, I awoke to see at the end of my bed an immense swirling mirror like vortex and suddenly my consciousness was all over the place. I was asleep in bed, I was out of body straining to flee my room and repeatedly felt my real self 'snap' back into my body, I was awake and gazing at the vortex, I was taking the hand someone (self?) had thrust from out the vortex, I was conversing with someone who chastised me to 'help myself' and furthermore, I was engulfed with a wave of ecstatic energy!
I also had 'thought balls' thrust into my consciousness, concepts and ideas I had to somehow unravel. I learned to understand the mirror effect and the metaphoric language of the mind, and how to read between the shadow lines. My fears rose up to meet me, in fact I think most emotions were confronted in one way or another. I learned to laugh at my own manipulations and grow in the process. I learned how deep lay the abyss of human guilt, shame and self-loathing. And I tried to learn how to love myself and others, and at the end of this period of trial by fire, I honestly believe I emerged a gentler, more compassionate and less judgemental human being.
Or maybe that is all nonsense, who knows? I do know that while practicing self-hypnosis I became able to induce a physical heaviness and lethargy that at times was both sensual and terrifying. On rare occasion I saw living color, or colored sound - a thrilling vision of the most beautiful column of gently singing fuschia which, I swear this is true, my dog was also staring at.
And the lucid dreams and hypnogogics increased hand over fist! I would find myself as nothing more or less than a field of vision completely devoid of identity or sense of self (left brain awareness?), floating about my home and seeing the minutest object in magnified, clarified detail. The more I used hypnosis, the more these things happened.
However, the Grays also came more frequently, as did the dreams. I gave birth to unknown children and would awaken mumbling "I love you baby no 3", I also saw myself somewhere, somehow, many times this happened - finding myself in a strange and sterile environment, accompanied by a tall, misty figure and suddenly remembering previous birthings and being shown a linear series of my 'familial ancestors' or my bloodline or possibly even incarnations, I do not know. But I would think to myself - 'ah, I remember this!'
Bear in mind that while it became undeniable that whatever the gray aliens are or are not, I had nonetheless never been interested in the phenomena even though hindsight revealed I had long been a part of this enigma. I was not 'seeking' alien abduction or Grays in the night! If anything, my focus was perhaps more on reincarnation and hypnosis, meditation, possibly spirit contact is such a thing were more than ESP or imagination. Yet, there they were! And I kept right on reading, learning and using those hypnotic tapes, cds and books.
Furthermore, I was not at all familiar with alien abduction or benchmarks of the experience. When I 'lost' three hours of time, sitting there with an unlit cigarette and curled up Indian-style in the middle of my bed (I have spinal arthritis and this position would have quickly become very uncomfortable to me), I remember glancing at the clock with total and absolute confusion as to where 2.45 hours had gone? The last thing I remembered was preparing to light a cigarette.
And of course, coincidentally or stigmatically or otherwise, I had an increase of these benchmarks! Bruises, knowing, informational thought balls and a sense of presence, gynecological problems, an increasing fear of doctors and anything medically related, fascination with physics, astronomy, neurology and science in general. Human ethics, morality and an ever increasing development of compassion for all forms of life. I began feeding and caring for strays, and rescuing spiders, and handling plants with care.
Its a new world, if you can take it! I believe a Gray told that to Whitley Strieber, if memory serves. And so it was.
Yet, I continued to remain well grounded in the here and now. This is crucial, to be able to maintain a solid footing in not one, but two worlds - or mindscapes. Somehow, the self-hypnosis tapes and dream books and meditation techniques helped open a door that, while not necessarily shut, was now wide open. That's when I became aware of the strangers waiting on the other side: the Grays.